I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
