BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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