you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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