You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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