i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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