meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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