it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
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Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
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I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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