so that wasnt chicken after all
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
