At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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