Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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