Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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