it's like iHOP with fire
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Even my vagina gasped.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
