Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
