i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
