if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
