Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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