I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
