He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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