you guys were way drunker than both of me
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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