Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
