I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
