if i can run in heels then i can drive
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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