I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I stole a fireplace last night.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
