so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
