Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
