I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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