It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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