is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
