have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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