My underwear smells like fireworks.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
