yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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