OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
