At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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