if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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