i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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