he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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