STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
