One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Your cock deserves a montage
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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