that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
