No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
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