I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
