ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
