i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
