take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
