Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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