then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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