WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
