She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
