Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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