Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
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