You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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