ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
