There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
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The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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