can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
you are never too drunk for berry picking
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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