I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
