i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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