Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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