I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
