shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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