Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
