her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
