I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I supernannyed him into submission
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
